Hey Friends,

I’m taking a break from life at this point LOL. People are irking my soul. MOSTLY men. This isn’t a men versus women conversation. Also, I give no fux if people think otherwise.

I’m not sure what is wrong with autocorrect, but HE just aired me out for no reason. I do not wish to go further. Listen, iPhone users, let’s just brace ourselves now. We stand in solidarity. These ugly a$$ new iPhones are about to ruin our lives. This update is about to rip the roof off our already shredded mental health. Take that PTO, just quit your job. I’ll be here itching my life away.

I’m still itchy with nerve pain. If you are new here? Hey, my name is Anjanette & my entire body itches because I had shingles. Nobody came here to read about my itchy boob & back. Let’s get into it.

So, long story even longer, I have ties with authorities & the highest level of court that you do not want that smoke with. Trust me, I want that smoke, but you do not. I don’t wish to get any deeper because I’m in the middle of several contracts, grants, grant writing, forensics, testimony reviews & I love cold cases.

The cat is out of the bag. I LOVE FORENSICS. So much so that I seem to have landed in it because people are idiots. This is an offline conversation; I don’t reveal my cards during a game of poker. I just try to look at everyone else’s. Tf.

So, I’m a doula, nurse, childbirth educator…I’m just for the streets when it comes to learning. If I see a book I want, I’ll ask for it. Mind you, it’s in my bag already. I’m a foodie who’s ready for Thanksgiving. Every year, I go through this. Pass that baby to me and stop playing!

concrete jungle where my attitude comes from

Around June 2026, deep in the conundrum of birthkeeping, I was minding my Black-owned business. And white-owned. I learned I’m 40% white. That might change because Ancestry is updating. Idc.

I am a mandated reporter. So are many doulas, but doula training doesn’t teach that. The ghetto training doesn’t teach that. That’s what I meant. I attended BEST Doula training. I was not the best, that’s the answer. Don’t do it to yourself. I attended the program how many years ago? If they want this smoke, come get it. Actually, call my lawyers. I’ll sue them for racism. So, there’s that.

I had to report an obscene amount of individuals & entities within the healthcare/behavioral health industries over the past 4.5 months. Today is my 26th anniversary in healthcare & my official last day of work. I completed my last r*pe exam. I really don’t like typing out the word.

For my job, I sacrificed a great deal. I’m not doing that anymore. Instead, I’m relaxing because I retired on 7/14/26, the day after my brother’s birthday. I wanted to be more available for my family, which I have been. But I’m still pouring into others so much that I’m just heartbroken & happy.

I’m happy to be alive. That supersedes bills & the nonsense we worry about. The bills will be here. They can actually go to hell atp. The cost of living in NYC is outrageous. Trump is a dick, Vance is a bigger eggplant. I’m sick of them. Our healthcare system is in shambles, but everyone goes about their day like we don’t matter.

Nurses are quitting, getting fired, being abused, but life as usual. Doulas are treated like outsiders, like we’re the enemy. We’re fixing the hospitals’ mess, but add us to the list of the abused. I think the fk not, mi gente.

these heaux aint loyal

For doulas, lawyer up. We have zero umbrella through an accredited agency. People complain about this, but they have no idea what our lives look like outside of helping them. I can tell you these agencies are completely unethical as all hell. So now what?

Protect yourselves. Lawyer the hell up. Contact your malpractice insurance & make 100% sure you are fully covered in case a hospital or provider tries it. Your lawyer should be going over your contract(s) with a fine-tooth comb. Please do not rely on copy & paste in this instance. Get your own & have people pay for a copy IF you wish to share it, which I would not do.

Do NOT niche down coming out the door of training. This is a practice that is recommended to us. Y’all, don’t you do it.

As a nurse, the requirement is for us to work on a medical-surgical floor. This floor is for adults, 18+. As new grads, we should have a softer, less acute assignment of patients. This helps us get used to everything that comes with nursing. Nurses get dry-humped on the daily, so don’t look over there with heart eyes unless you’re passionate about it. That passion will get you through.

The niche-down theory will have you working with one population of people. You’ll get very limited insight into what being a doula is. Research shows that white women have better birth experiences than women of color. If your clients have all been white women, taking on a woman of color is dangerous for that family & for you. Being trauma informed is not an overnight class. Many doula training programs teach that quick setup model. This is a slow walk, continuing education credits are imperative. If ANY professional lacks this basic standard, bounce. Leave, exit stage left.

The constructs associated with all these topics are far deeper than I can share in this moment. Do your research. Do not rely on me or any of us to teach you everything, that’s impossible. Do not use AI unless you have research articles to back up what it shares with you. AI will lead you in the wrong direction, it extracts its information from social media platforms. Unless you understand how to use it, let that go. We all had to spend hours in the library researching topics. We’re handing the torch to the next generations. No more iPad babies guys, I cannot.

Now, all investigations are over, with the exception of one. Two investigations for one case were hot garbage. I threw the ball back in their court and walked away. It’s being handled. I’m just over it at this point.

I was diagnosed with PTSD in July of this year. Something I already knew for all of my life, but someone finally cared enough to listen & not leave me there feeling alone again.

Being included in all these high-level cases could have led to cardiac issues. There’s a reason why women have a higher risk of cardiac disease. We become nearly everyone’s punching bag. I saw this in the homes I worked with, the hospital floors I sat on, and the domestic abuse cases I worked with. I was also part of a suicide watch team.

My heart can’t break any more than it already has. I’m taking a break before that break takes me.

The Truth About Narcissists

I wrote this body of work some time ago. I’m going off of my lived experiences. I won’t include sources because I wrote this myself. I’m not quoting myself lol.

I mentioned COVID being a virus which opens the door to allowing dormant viruses to resurface. Use this same thought process for narcissists, gun owners, pedophiles, serial killers, psychopaths, too many to list. This current administration held the door open with their hatred, then everyone started jumping on the bandwagon. Hatred is a virus that remains dormant until our leaders are hateful. Reactivation occurs. This is the persistent cycle that is embedded in the 250 years people celebrated on July 4th, 2026. What exactly were we celebrating? If one of us isn’t free, none of us are free. Get with it or get lost. Gaza. Start there. Israel went up against their own people. Go read a book if you don’t know. Any scripture will tell you.

I read that clinical data consistently shows that men score higher on average in overall narcissistic traits, particularly in the area of entitlement. Studies back this up even further. Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is diagnosed significantly more often in men; women are diagnosed at a much lower rate. The core symptoms are called SPECIAL ME. Please look into them if you’re interested. Sharing this information sits heavy with me in this moment.

Pregnancy, childbirth & postpartum can act like a magnifying glass for narcissistic behavior. Why? The attention shifts to the birthing person & baby, away from the man. This shift can feel like a direct threat to a partner with strong narcissistic traits.

People will tell a woman that she always picks the worst men. Nay, nay, dear uneducated soul. Narcissists are all around us. I mean damn, look at the people who lead the country. I’m not sure why people look shocked to hear this. These dudes are narcissists, tf.

I can take down a narcissist & psychopath in two seconds. I truly don’t want to be involved with them again in life. I was trained by the best. My fellow people tear through people so bad that I’m trying not to cry laughing. Like, chill dude, don’t talk about his mom that way. Have some manners.

Hannibal Lecter? Oh, take me through there! Homeboy was talking about “it places the lotion on its skin…” Listen, Clarissa, move the hell out of the way. Diddy used up all the baby oil. We can’t afford to have lotion on the docket too, sis. These winter ankles did nothing to anyone. I know that better not be Nivea.

bad boy, come out & Get the hell out of herrrrrreeeee

I’ve written about the bromance that is the current administration. Your girl is tired & hungry.

A narcissist is super easy to detect. They’re self-centered, and they blow up over the littlest things. They won’t hit at first. They’ll do everything but hit their partner. That means they are in control enough to know what they’re doing in that moment.

Suddenly, they develop amnesia & say none of that ever happened. Or flowers. They’ll love-bomb you to make you feel bad for them. Then you stay.

Please don’t stay. That is a massive red flag & an opportunity to leave. It’s difficult for me to leave resources here because people from so many countries read my blogs, and I’m still mortified yet touched that anyone even cares. I love y’all fr.

So, that’s it for me. This is my first day of whatever the heck this is. I’m not sure how to stop working. It’s embedded in who I am.

Not attending births has made me sad. Not being able to hold classes really makes me want to throw something across the room. I spent so much time updating my Labor 101 class that I’ve fallen in love with her.

Spinning Babies? I spun as a baby in the womb. My mother told me that LOL. I ended up spinning my way through ballet school & gymnastics. My therapy as a child. I miss the hobbies of childhood, and I’ve been revisiting those special places.

I work with children now; I look forward to spending time with them. I will return to the world of ASL. My life has consumed me so much that it has affected my ability to communicate with my brother through sign language.

I hope to learn French again, maybe Spanish. I have a huge attitude because Ancestry told me I was from Spain & France last week. Apparently, that is a lie. Zero European ties. I was LIVID. I know they better put it back.

Freaking Italy felt like home & I couldn’t even get some of that. The shopping out there? Jesus. I almost fainted looking at the heels & perfume. Cobblestone streets are my love language. My ancestors messed me up. I’m eating a plate full of the pasta I made. I wish an Italian from Staten Island would try to step to me. My pasta tastes better than yours & you agreed, friends! I will absolutely eat your dishes to see though. Grandmommy’s pasta? RUN THAT. France? French dainty lacey things are my favorite. I love the Eiffel Tower; I’m still going one day. With the nastiest attitude on that plane. No Southeast Asia. Ancestry is going to hell. I can’t do this anymore. I’m human, I’ll just run with that. Screw humanness too.

I’ve lost 30 pounds from stress. I just realized why people are saying I look pretty. Y’all thought I was fat? Didn’t you? I look the same, but suddenly I’m cute & hungry.

It’s ghetto here, guys. I’m done, we’re done. Let’s just take naps throughout the day and listen to the ’90s music that ended up causing all of us to get pregnant. Let’s be fr. Y’all had no business gyrating on each other that early in life. I wasn’t down with the get-downs, so y’all be safe!

stand up now or sit down forever

Protect yourself & remember to protect others. We are all one. If you prioritize yourself over others, don’t be surprised to find yourself sitting alone.

I will be back after some time off. The women in my life have gone above and beyond for me. Next level ish. My dad’s side of the family gives me great comfort. So thankful to have them back in my life. To the men in my life, my family, I’m so grateful for you. I truly don’t know how to begin thanking the people that had my back. I love you so much & so deeply. The world is better with you in it.

Final song on my playlist. Number 50 :)

To all the ladies, I like to congratulate you…

Fabolous – You Be Killin Em.

Album: There Is NO Competition. Grieving Music Mixtape.