Hi everyone!
It’s the final chapter of Who In The Hell Left the Gate Open. Glad you could join. Good people turn away. Unless if you like to watch. That’s not a sexual joke because that's voyeurism. We don’t play that game over here. Mind your own partner. Good people, my apologies, I was not talking to you. Please bring your partner if you have one. It’s about to get Litty in this City. We’re talking embodiment, because we’ve been taught to embody what this country brings forward. This country needs to embody us. IJS.
Becoming Requires Knowing
This is Anjanette, the “black girl.” I am a woman, I am multi-racial. I am of heavy af African descent, extending all through our Motherland, wrapping around Democratic Republic of the Congo (DRC). The place I call Wakanda in my brain. I just found the rest of my ancestors within the past 11 months. I spoke at Eden II’s Annual Conference on 10/21/25, my aunt’s birthday, my 25th anniversary in healthcare. To prepare for the sibling panel I finally had to dig through thousands of pictures that I brought home to Staten Island. I felt like I walked through generations of hope and grief all over again. I sold our multigen home in Brooklyn in early 2019. I’ve been coming to the island for well over 40+ years. I moved here to be closer to my brother, who I call my Irish twin now. My brother is a part of the special needs community like I once was and still am. We’re Irish and very close in age. Our half 6th cousin 7x removed is Samuel Morse, an American inventor known for developing the electric telegraph and Morse code, revolutionizing communication over long distances. I found this out yesterday.
Ancestry has the weirdest way of letting you know about your family. I received a notification on my phone that halted me in my tracks. The dropdown option showed 13 generations. Now I’m looking around the room as if I’m being Punk’d. As I scrolled down to the bottom, my granddaddy, a physician I have always talked about, my mommy-who apparently is a spiritual snipper, and myself were casually there like that wasn’t a big deal.
My grandmother’s birthday is 9/19, my mommy transitioned on 9/24/15. My great-grandaddy transitioned on 10/13/51 at 69 years old. Once I submitted my DNA, it’s like a new hint pops up that has me stuck on stuck. Now it’s Spain, France, Azores, the Portuguese islands in North America that has me like WAIT WHAT? I was sitting here yesterday looking at this new notification like what the hell is going on. A flight to Azores is under 6 hours, a direct from JFK. And of course there’s scuba diving. Another trip added to my bucket list and I’m just trying to mind my business. Let’s keep going, all I see is blue water, blue sharks, whale sharks, volcanic underwater terrain, and its beginner friendly. My last dive was my not so greatest dive, my buddy decided it would be a great time to descend to help someone who claimed she was an Olympic level diver. I don’t know how to swim lol. People look at me like I’m crazy but moving through the ocean is way easier than swimming the surface of a pool. Post-dives you will not catch me in the pool trying to swim. None of us have the energy to swim after diving all morning. That’s when the drinking starts and that’s when I sneak away to walk the beach for hours. Returning to the resort looking like a burnt hot dog and eating dinner at a bonfire with a bunch of strangers that become friends. I will host my own dive trips of 7 tops. Twerking on dolphins for a photo op will get you yeeted by the divemaster. You have plenty of time to clap those cheeks at the bottom of the ocean, I will not be watching bc I’m clapping my own LOL. IDGARAATP I’m grown. My mother does not care and my father knows I will not stop.
“Located in the North Atlantic Ocean, the Azores are a volcanic archipelago comprised of nine lush islands, each boasting dramatic coastlines, crater lakes, and verdant pastures. The Portuguese first settled the Azores in the 15th century. The islands became an important stop for transatlantic ships and a source of emigrants for the Americas. Today, most Azoreans live on São Miguel, the largest island. Cultural life blends Portuguese and island traditions-locals celebrate the Holy Spirit Festival with parades and feasts, tend to dairy farms, and cook traditional foods, including cozido, a stew slow-cooked underground using volcanic heat”-Ancestry.com
No, she didn’t. Oh, Yes tf she did.
To the Staten Islanders that like to get turnt on the Ring app? The ones asking if we, the collective of the North Shore of Staten Island, actually have jobs? Do we live in the welfare buildings? Oh, poor unfortunate souls. That is called a projection of reality. It’s ok if your mother received public assistance, many of us have. It’s nothing to look down at, only we are looking down at you. You chose to be the snake that decided to walk this earth with us. God gave us authority over the belly crawlers. I’m not speaking from a religious standpoint. No Psalms 23 girlie lives here. The Book of Genesis shares a story, many lessons and huge warnings. Containing that within one religion can get you in trouble. Catholicism is beautiful to me, but praying to saints? There would be a belt in my future. Imagine your ancestors all waiting with a belt. I will gracefully bow out of that conversation.
Former brothers and sisters. Since you enjoy denouncing us? We have some news for you. We live on Staten Island. You live on the island of self-centeredness. Please see below.
Remove the first t in Staten Island, I’ll help you since Hooked on Phonics didn’t work for you. We are not the same, you said. Potato, potahto, if you will:
Satan Island
Saten Island
Onto better things
This will be my last post addressing corruption of power. I unpacked 26 years of healthcare within the last 2 months. 18 years of being a registered nurse on 8/8/26. I looked at my license last year with tears in my eyes. I didn’t openly share my experience because I fought to suppress it until I couldn’t. An abuse case dragged everything out of the closet that I already knew was there. Now my closest is completely empty while the people that tried to go up against me have theirs to contend with. Being stalked for my entire life by multiple people is something I’m just finding that out. Who does that? And yes, I am reiterating this for the people in the back that like to run. I have the potential to issue a multi-million-dollar lawsuit. Two people can be extradited from Atlanta. Former NYPD Commander abused his power in an attempt to try to take me down. He’s not even worth speaking on. Neither is the former family member that made everything possible. When people attempt to run a massive smear campaign against you? You have the right to speak about it. No names mentioned. No identities revealed yet mine was, I’m currently experiencing cyberattacks. Like everyone else is. This country leaves us susceptible to attack. NYPD, FDNY, and Mobile Crises saw exactly what it was. They were the ones offering me support. My local precinct and others have protected me in ways that allowed me and my son to sleep at night.
As black doulas, we often discuss how we are the focus of many cyber-attacks after joining the doula referral, DoulaMatch. This can be confirmed through Reddit, where doulas have a subreddit to support one another.
profit & karmic return
The links below might be inactive soon. Hopefully very soon. I have everything documented and will provide proof if requested by the proper authorities.
Other local birthkeepers noticed there was a page impersonating me. This was more annoying than anything, but I reported the business that was impersonating me. Per Google AI: Valerie operates under her private practice named V. Kadash - Birth & Beyond.
Valerie Kadash RN Birth and Postpartum DoulaMatch Profile is still active despite reaching out to Kim James, the owner of DoulaMatch. Kim insinuated that I was the scammer and potentially harassing her. I have more education and experience than she does, but I guess seeing a Deepfake white woman overrode the black woman she took the time to look up.
The person impersonating my business is someone I know and I wish I didn’t. Birth Bridge took her page down immediately: Find Doulas, Midwives, and Birth Professionals | BirthBridge: v-kadash-birth-beyond. Linktree: Empowering YOU with love Official: Instagram, Facebook | Linktree. As we can see, Valerie woke up and decided to choose violence. I don’t have time for this, but I do have proof of her harassing me to the point I had to block her. Impersonating a registered nurse is absolutely disrespectful and unethical. I’m taking her down, so she doesn’t come for my doula community who has been the target of this nonsense. Read this article-Brantford woman who faked pregnancies an extreme case of scamming doulas, prompting groups to raise awareness | CBC News. At the top of this article notes DONA International head, Hamilton Family Doulas owner say sharing information can help doulas. I also contacted DONA International by email a few days ago, no response was received. Nothing in my spam folder.
I contacted my former family, Lamaze International for assistance as they’ve made available to us. Despite the years I spent volunteering and giving my time to the organization, its leadership offered a dismissive response and stated they couldn’t get involved after I shared that I was lost in how to navigate through this. That was when I realized profit over humans was alive and well here, too. Thankfully they removed my name from their About page as requested. My quote was integrated into their mission statement which they failed to uphold repeatedly over the years, as per LCCEs who dropped their certification:
Established in 1960, Lamaze International is a non-profit organization and a trusted global leader, with a mission to advance safe and healthy pregnancy, birth and early parenting through evidence-based education and advocacy. The Lamaze Vision is to be the trusted global leader in ensuring all parents make confident and informed decisions with the support and resources to have safe, healthy births.
I taught a family in my Lamaze class that was planning a home birth. Their plans changed unexpectedly, resulting in a surgical birth. Mom found peace with her birth because she was prepared for the fork in the road. She touched base with me after the birth, thanking me for everything she learned during the class. Her postpartum period was gentle; she found her voice and her way of mothering through honoring all she learned and the greatness that already existed inside of her.” -Anjanette Silas
Per their own words:
Lamaze International fosters a highly supportive community that provides professional compassion and emotional backing when an educator faces personal or professional hardship. Backed by peer-to-peer community support. I’ve supported LCCEs all over the global. I stepped up to support a beautiful LCCE after Lamaze put out the call. Per the email, this LCCE felt her back was up against a wall. The highest-level position holding person stated “Anjanette, I KNEW I could count on YOU! Thank you! Intro email to follow. Sending lots of heart emojis!"
The only difference between myself and this LCCE is she is white. The gag is her husband is black. So are her children, even the one she was carrying in her belly. Pregnancy looks good on this mommy. We instantly connected. I love her down.
Too many people turn their heads when we, black people, are hurting. The era of that is over. We’ll come together as a collective & do it ourselves. Marginalized people should never turn their backs on one another. Please consider who is there for your birth.
Who Taught You to Fear Birth?
Probably other’s stories. That’s how we become conditioned to fear birth. Birthkeepers aim to release that fear and hold you through it if it arises. This support should be extended to your entire family. That’s why it’s so important to seek high level quality care. This type of care is easy to spot. Birthkeepers are nurturing people by nature. Remove the container of doula or educator, you should be left with a passionate person that has stories about attending others births or past caregiving experiences. You don’t want a birthkeeper that spends most of their time chasing clients or running one thousand different groups, they will drop the ball eventually. It’s not worth it when it comes to establishing your family or extending it. They should be dedicated and committed to you & your family and you should be respectful of their time, energy and pricing. Unless they’re like Free Birth Society charging $6K for birth doula services. That’s pretty steep for NYC. You’ll need to see and speak to this person about their contract before signing it.
Please do not hop into fear when reading the quote above. It’s easy to when the world tells you that birth is scary. Proper monitoring is a necessity. A birth center should be accredited, and that center should be transparent when you ask to see its accreditation. If it is not accredited, please consider what that means: the center is operating without the independent oversight, standards and accountability that accreditation is intended to provide. I do not consider that a safe standard of care and many others agree. Check accreditation with the facility, not through AI. Please.
Birth isn’t scary to many people, it can be liberating when you feel safe.
At 21 years old, I was unmedicated for 16.5 hours of my labor. I opted for an epidural when my OB/GYN seemed disappointed that I was “only” 7 cm. I was crying with frustration, entering motherhood already having been told that undiagnosed pre-eclampsia could have severely impacted the lives of both me and my unborn child. A c-section was recommended early on. My daughter was born 20–30 minutes later, I can’t remember exactly. A position change when my daughter’s heart rate started dipping was all I needed. I had been sequestered to the bed for all of my labor, with a Foley catheter and two intravenous lines. Two IV pokes, not 27 like I see now. If one attempt doesn’t work, call the more experienced nurse in. Nurses can get angry all they want, but it’s impossible for everyone on planet earth to have “bad veins” that is called “poor nursing skills.” My unit put IVs in so quickly patients didn’t feel them. I had to learn, so do you. On a fake hand though, or yourself, it’s your choice. Student nurses, IV placement comes with practice. You’ll learn quicker if you feel comfortable knowing that another nurse can help you. You can tell your preceptor to refer to your last email where you stated “nurses shouldn’t eat their young” in case she questions why you need assistance. If she can’t remember where she came from, you can also remind her where she’s going. Straight to upper management. Real nurses don’t bully new nurses. Ever.
I just remember thinking that if my friends could do it, I could do it. I was the one holding their hair back while they prayed to the porcelain throne. I wasn’t about that life. That doesn’t mean I was better. I just prayed to the porcelain throne alone.
After slinging back 21 shots at the age of 18, I never returned to that level of drinking. I was too busy being a club kid, dancing on the speakers. If you haven’t tried it, you are missing out. Raves were my favorite places. Everyone loved each other. I would dance barefoot in the middle of a rain shower with people who still live deep in my heart.
Beauty & Pain
I’m writing about my journey again just in case you land here accidentally or purposefully. Sometimes I pray no one will read my blogs because it represents heartbreak. They still deserve to live here. Typos, messiness, all of it. I just won’t look back anymore.
Becoming a doula triggered my worst fears. Yet, it was also a place that I grew to immediately love. I will still support birth, just more selectively. I faulted myself from leaving the nursing space and heading right into entrepreneurship, the way the doula training program suggested. It didn’t work for me and yet it did. I’m not here to follow rules that we created to protect someone else or to gain popularity on an app that isn’t mine. I don’t market or promote my business. It would be physically and emotionally draining to add that to my life. And fake as hell. RBF is strong when I see cameras come out.
I wrote so many blogs during 6/1-9/15/26. I’m not sharing all of them but wanted to get them out there & touch on resources that take a deeper dive in corruption, abuse of power, this men vs women thing, all the things that we’ve had to deal with since the beginning of time. Here is some reading, as always, sending love & don’t talk to me if you want to fight! The collective and I are tired. We’re resting for the rest of the season. Equity is the only way, we’re not accepting anything else. Netflix is too juicy for words. I’m actually going to watch TV while I rest. I’m so happy I have books to read. I can be a nerd in my glasses and an oversized T shirt. My hair is full afro or some variation of puffy straight. I looked at the stocks this morning like, oh. I’m putting my phone down and living life. Meeting with the people that are pushing for change to happen. Dropping the ones who don’t. I’d like to leave you with the following concept that our world tries to push into our reality. Who the real monster is based on violent responses. Black on black crime happens for a reason. This content has been reviewed by psychologists repeatedly. Reading is fundamental before speaking, unless ignorance is deeply embedded into your family tree.
Black men respond to trauma that has been linked to the Weathering Effect.
White men can respond from hatred, and that’s ok with the masses.
Women have sex get over it
Your addiction has altered your mind (intoxicating, chill music) the dependency, the wants…
Listen to the words, look past the women.
I worked for a bar/club during my first postpartum season, that experience took me to the next level. Other women told me I was beautiful. I didn’t know I needed to hear this from people I trusted. We didn’t tear each other down, we uplifted each other. This bar was referred to as a strip club. Men were all over the women, just disgusting behavior. The women were gagging in the back like EWWW he touched me LOL. I was newly postpartum trying to make ends meet after the partner cleaned out my bank account. I stayed on the college campus for as long as I could working three jobs. I graduated in May and didn’t wish to return to the boroughs. I finally came “home” to Astoria the day before I gave birth to my firstborn. I was so upset that I had to once again sacrifice myself to make ends meet. My body was off-limits in this space, I was a bartender, I had a great time. I honestly wanted to break a glass bottle off these dudes’ heads. Any opportunity to graze past a woman just shows a lack of respect for themselves.
I learned pole dance there. Pole dancing is widely recognized as a legitimate sport. It’s intense, requires next level athletic discipline. Flexibility, high endurance, core strength. It’s delicious. Many men couldn’t last two seconds. I watched them throw money at women just to pick it up, tuck it right in that wallet they’d bring home to their wife. Men sexualize the sport as they sexualize everything else. Vanilla sex is lit. People have periods and intricate silver colored stretch marks that another man will lick. Again, and again. LOL. Yes, I’m enjoying myself. Women ride the pole better, bruh. Cellulite is not a sin. Not to the right person. The good men actually outnumber the bad ones. I don’t look men up and down, flirting with them. They hold the door for me and I say thank you. “Ayo, lightskin…” “Empress can I get your number?” Grabbing my arm to get my attention is a dangerous game to play. Why is a stranger even touching me during work hours? Tf
I’ll move on before I laugh myself unconscious. It’s Slutty Smurf Season. We can be sensual alone or not :) Cuffing season ended decades ago. Go cuff yourself my dude, we like our cuffs with pink fur, tysm.
Lock in twins, we’re on lockdown. Let’s grind on our furniture inappropriately. My cats touch on me inappropriately, please pray for me because this has been years of paws on my boobs. I’m tired y’all.
Chris Brown - New Flame (Official Video) ft. Usher, Rick Ross
When Lucifer becomes Satan
Elon Musk (raggedy TSLA) & Mark Zuckerberg (owner of META) have been all over the news.
Maye Musk, Elon Musk’s 78-year-old mother, has said she sleeps in the garage at SpaceX’s Starbase and considers it a luxury. Elon’s ex-wife has said he referred to the mothers of his children as “breeders” who were “interchangeable.” This isn’t surprising. The news should focus on actual news. This belongs in a tabloid. Or the garbage.
Their stocks are doing way better than they have all year. You can track stocks and see for yourself. Class is no longer in session.
Time to pick a side. Do you know who Mark or Elon are? I don’t! Lucifer whispers. I hear nothing.
Please refer to our current Anthem: Lubiana - Ancestors
A Moment of Silence
Mortal Kombat was my game, actually all my ladies would take turns on the game. They were ruthless when they went up against men. Looking back, maybe it was a form of therapy.
I did beat the dog snot out of the guys on that college campus back in the 90s. I had a good time. Nothing made my body tingle more than the final Fatality. Hearing “FINISH HIM!” made my knees buckle. I seriously had to grab onto the wall to keep myself standing. I’d hit my secret buttons and walk away while my opponent had a temper tantrum. Sonya’s Kiss of Death? Good NIGHT. I put these dudes to sleep. I had my one “ho” moment because I was so angry to find out that my partner had been cheating on me with multiple people on campus. My main opponent was FINE AF, which yuck lol. This wasn’t me. I was very intentional with my body, I don’t have a body count that looks like a CVS receipt, like the guys did. Once this partner officially left our college campus, the guys went after me immediately. My resident assistant, Alisa Simmons? She saved my life many moons ago. I returned from my shower in a towel, not feeling the greatest, not realizing I was pregnant at the time. One of the basketball players was sitting on my bed. The room was dark, so I didn’t see him until it was too late. 6’5 man not dressed, held the door closed when I tried to run. I froze immediately. I was ready to give up when Alisa knocked on my door because she heard me crying. I love her. For so many reasons, but she took me to her room, and I cried in my towel, shaking uncontrollably. That’s when I went from the quiet girl to the masculine woman in protection of myself. I’m tired of being masculine when softness was all I ever wanted.
Final Fatality
There’s no bro code, not when you recycle through women. So here comes what people called my one-night stand, a guy I knew for years so the math wasn’t mathing. The campus jumped on the opportunity to drag me through the mud, men and women.
He told his roommate that I was such a good kisser, sigh. I wasn’t happy about that but yup, our one-night stand was blasted on-campus. I wanted to strangle him. This supposed one night stand sat in front of my partner while I was pregnant telling him to get me sushi because I like it raw. I’m staring at him like he lost his damn mind, I love sushi but liking it raw is wild. There is no bro code ladies, we don’t need to be reminded of that ever. Power of the pu$$y is exactly why some men despise us. When my pregnant belly grew, this same dude tried to holla which is absolutely not the lane I wanted to take. Even his friend was like, bruh chill. I regretted the one-night thing immediately. Never happened again, revenge sex isn’t it. Not for me. I’m trying not to gag right now.
So, this song was one I sang at the top of my lungs in the club and at home. Little did my partner know, this was dedicated to him as I scream sung this in his face while standing on my tippy toes. My only marriage that happened because I wanted my daughter to have her dad. My mother disowned me but offered me the escape route right before we walked down the aisle together during my wedding. I don’t regret walking down the aisle anymore. I won with the birth of my best friend. Also, I’m not a public curser (normally), so this is edited. I turn into DMX when this song comes on. God said it was ok because my name was mentioned (Cookies) and so were the names of many of my friends.
DMX - What They Really Want ft. Sisqo. Circa 1999
I think about when a n**** didn't have (yeah)
And a n**** told a joke, and the b**** didn't laugh (yeah)
See, now I do the math, I see if you got this (uh-huh)
And this and this to some cats, that n**** the shit (aight)
And that's all they fuckin' with
But see these b**** don't know (uh)
If these b**** ain't for real (uh-huh), these b**** don't go (uh)
Knock on the door, no show, I'm asleep, tryin' to creep
With yo' best friend, put it in, dig deep.
(ayy, X, let me talk to 'em for a minute, aight)
Sisqo, tap in…
Oh, I know, I know it's so hard to be
A victim of my reality
Heard you callin' me names, said I was trif
One thing you gotta know, I'ma be a n**** for lifeeeeeeeeeee
My friends were absolutely turning up with their boyfriend’s besties. Bromance gang what’s up? I tapped in too; I don’t claim sainthood though. But one of your soldiers was on his knees begging me to stay with him after he admitted to cheating (repeatedly) right after I gave birth. I never brought a man to both knees, that’s pretty interesting, imo. In that context, I’m not a fan, so I left.
Embody HER
I stayed Sonya. The men I played kept changing characters trying to beat me. One changed seven times and eventually had to turn into a literal demon. That was the only way he could beat me. Jumped on my bouncy boobs and took me down in seconds. I still won though. Boobs stay bouncing, enough for men to look, men being in there 50s didn’t change a damn thing. My face is here bruv. Look up. That’s why gentlemen are only welcome here. They actually heal. Thank you, Kings.
Chun-Li from Street Fighter gets an honorable mention. Hadouken? Please, KIKOKEN! She literally told you what was coming, playboy. It was her launching her qi/chi into an energetic fireball and sent it straight across the screen. Ken, Ryu, whoever they thought would save them, immediately ate concrete. Dang Ken, are you ok? I guess not the game was over. LOL. My name was already at the top of the leaderboard. Intimated people often try to intimidate or imitate who they fear. Meet that energy, promise it works each and every time. Safety first, always. I don’t play those games when it comes to keeping people safe.
Kings, please pull up, you are not a footnote in this. It’s time for your Victory Lap because you are HIM. Please govern yourself accordingly. BIPOC women knock three times. We love Grace Jones looking “chicks" and we will not knock again if you don’t answer. The council has spoken.
I was in the middle of getting my indoor garden settled for the fall. 170 plants and I’m not sure how many were lost. There’s loss but so much more life. I don’t understand how they’re alive tbh, this defies what I learned about the plant world. I visited Trader Joes and went a little buck wild. My babies have more company. That’s plant math. I also purchased seven small flower bouquets for my grandmommy, it’s her birthday :) I love making flower arrangements, the textures and colors just do something to me.
While I was minding my own business, Ancestry alerted me to a new ancestry connection. Randomly, it shared that Anna Tuthill Symmes (1775-1864), my half sixth cousin six times removed, was the wife of William Henry Harrison, the ninth President of the United States. She briefly served as First Lady in 1841, Harrison died of an illness diagnosed at the time as pneumonia just days into his presidency. Pneumonia was the most frequent diagnosis I saw on the vent unit I used to work on. My brain hurts y’all. TTYL fr.
New York bred men take it from here
I'm so New York, long shorts and fresh Timbs
Before they call him Crack, they called him Crack Kim
N****s mad Joe & Jada done cracked the top 10
They thought we was gon' tap out, we tapped in
Even though we been crushin' these n****s from back then
How dare a n****a try to jump out and play him
Shoot a n***a over a bid
Yeah, I'm Rem
-The Teflon Don & JadaMFKNKISS-Victory Lap (HIM). LFG Knicks all day.
Major health centered organizations and agencies are corrupt. How it became my job to take down corruption? I have no idea. Ripping the roof off the healthcare system was called out last year. I’ve been airing myself out like I saw this happening. I’m innocent here, I’ve never plead the fifth, no warrants out for my arrest, zero criminal record. NYS RN license clean af. The titles of my past blogs are trying to take me out lol, my friends called me out as The Last Airbender? I’m good.
I’m divorcing my roles. My name is Anjanette or AJ. My credentials are here to stay, I paid good money for that, whatchu mean.
I’m supposed to cover my ass with legal talk to protect what? I’m a human, not a robot. Address the core issue, stop clocking our reaction, it’s an antiquated mindset. We’re the 3rd Millenium Global Majority baby, get used to it.
If you see typos, just know I cannot find my glasses. Hindsight is 20/20, but foresight is the vision. Just pray I find my glasses. That’s the most I want :) Actually, I want to go back to Slovenia and sit staring at the clouds & wake up to a basket of food each morning. Pikol come get me please.
The miseducation of the united states of america
*Alexa, as per my July Blog, please play Bohemian Rhapsody. The song that announced my retirement, this is the same song that ushers in my restoration.
dreams become reality
Scene fades to black, like my glossy baby grand piano that will be here very soon. I dreamt of sitting on my piano in six-inch stilettos years ago. With my husband which is so freaking gross and beautiful at the same time. Just yuck. It makes me sad that the idea of marriage might land into the wrong person’s lap again and I will be back to hurting. I don’t want to hurt like this ever again. Is this HRT or me? Just throw the whole Anjanette away atp. I’m so over her and I missed her so much, I’m happy she’s back. Mentalpause is real. My son really roasted me at the age of 6 years old by calling that out. The Lieutenant of the family that quietly blazes through games in 5 minutes. Builds a computer in less than 3 hours. When he was born, I pulled him from my body immediately and placed him on my chest. Born at 35 weeks old, he was such a healthy baby that he weighed close to eight pounds. I only gained 25 lbs with his pregnancy. No signs of pre-eclampsia. I had no words to describe what that felt like. I was half in and half outside of my body. Completely in love with the baby that came into this world twice. I am immensely grateful for all the blessings I’ve experienced. Even the toughest moments made me a pretty amazing mommy. Idc what anyone says. That’s one of my many superpowers. I love guiding people to tap into theirs. It’s an honor to even be a part of that. Parents are important. Honoring royalty will always be a priority, here.
I don’t know how to play the piano. The piano from my family’s home is here. A kind piano man, Beethoven himself, told me it was ok to let her go. Instead of tuning a piano that might not work, I’m releasing her as she has served her purpose. I’m so grateful that moment came into my life at just the right time. I’m taking piano lessons & will teach myself how to play the flute, finally. A dream of mine that was promised to me in first grade, but life changed its course. I will be hanging upside down from my pole reading a book. I definitely see a death drop in my near future. I was always the nerdy, emo girl who loved all music. I still do.
Everything happens for a reason. Embrace it & allow us to embrace you when you step towards expanding your greatness.
I’m finally at the end of this final chapter. Thank you for being here.
With Love,
Anjanette Rebecca Dash Silas
© 2026 Birth & Beyond, NYC. All rights reserved.