One of my favorite pictures by Winnie Bruce
Hi Friends,
I’ve been speaking up within different birthwork communities about issues birth doulas face in New York City & across the world, largely about the experiences of being a Medicaid provider. It is not always well received because it seems to others that I don’t appreciate the hard work that has gone into the roll out of the NYS Doula Medicaid benefit that was implemented over a year ago. I’m very appreciative, but I happen to be really good at math when it comes to money & I believe in thriveable incomes for all.
Before I became a doula, I sat down with my financial advisor, someone I met almost a decade ago, who has become THAT person when I need to explore financial options that align with my goals. My goal has always been to retire early from nursing, in my 40s. My advisor looked at me like I was crazy when I mentioned this to him, but he went hard to make sure I was hitting my goals. IKDR. Once he introduced me to self-directed investing, I saw the light at the end of the tunnel getting closer.
Now, when I became a doula, I ducked & dodged our quarterly meetings, I knew he was going to light me up like a Christmas tree. I started my business without seeking advice from anyone. One day I was a full-time RN & my hair was falling out. The next time we caught up, I had a whole damn business. He indeed lit me up like the Rockefeller Christmas tree.
We spoke about my business, the cost of birth support in New York & he hit me with the two-piece I was expecting. Since I boldly decided to walk away from a six-figure salary, I casually threw all my hard work over the years into the garbage. Ouch. I knocked early retirement off the table. My bad, he felt I drop kicked it off the table. My dream of walking on the beach every day in a bathing suit wouldn’t happen until my 70s, when my bewbs are grazing the ground.
Before I dive in, I want to be real, as a woman & a Black woman at that, talking about equitable wages always gets me side eyed. When I worked as a nurse, I found out I was making almost $20K more than seasoned nurses who trained me. They raised new grad pay to attract staff but forgot about the people who’d been holding the floor down way before we got there. That’s when the fight broke out.
Now as a doula, the same convo follows me. People love to say “compassion doesn’t have a price tag” or that I’m “in it for the money.”
So, when people question why I talk about fair pay or equity, I invite them to understand where that conviction comes from. When people say things like that, I ask them to take a walk with me, in my shoes.
Walk with me as a newly graduated college student on Medicaid, WIC & food stamps. Hear the tone of people’s voices in social services offices, the ones that made me feel like I didn’t deserve space in this world, even though their funding came from my tax dollars. I started working as a teenager, already contributing to the economy.
Sit with me while I study for my second degree, stomach completely empty from eating one meal each day, checking every few moments to make sure my baby’s still breathing because he was born with sleep apnea, that doctors refused to take seriously.
Stand with me as I fight against iatrogenic harm in the very hospitals that care for our communities. Witness the preventable deaths of people that look like you. Realizing our hard-earned dollars pay into that iatrogenic harm, especially in the maternal health sector.
Or come with me to the Social Security office after my mother passed, when I spent the first days of grief begging them to honor her years of work so my younger brother could receive his full benefits.
Unless someone has walked with me & supported me, I don’t really hear what they have to say. But that doesn’t mean I won’t talk about them. LOL.
I’m a Gen Xer. I’ve watched three generations before me work themselves into exhaustion & two after me grind for stability that keeps moving further away. Maybe I’m crazy, but I’m not buying that this is the American Dream. We deserve better. We keep every moving system in this country running, that’s a big deal. At least to me.
Let’s be completely honest, it’s time to redistribute some of that top 1% wealth.
I’m ok with Jeff Bezos pulling up to his our private island & finding me constructing my new home there. You are always invited, friend. Bring as many friends as you want.
We’ve tolerated crumbs for too long, hoping things would magically get better. If people are ok with scraps, I respect that, but please don’t hand that energy to me. I never agreed to retire at almost 70. My children aren’t onboard with that either.
This is the frequency I’m on. I’m calling Gen X & every generation after us to move differently, demand better & stop glorifying struggle. Boomers working well past the age of retirement is why we’re in the predicament we’re in right now. No shade, but they’re the ones that convinced us that the 9-5 grind made sense, ijs.
The People of the Global Majority will rise & make things better, I have faith in us.
I will behave after this. Can you look at that beautiful little girl in the picture & tell her that she won’t be able retire until she’s almost 80 years old? That is the direction this nation is headed. I’m not telling her that. That will not be her future.
Children nowadays like to fight, I wouldn’t encourage you to tell her that either.
Let’s get into a conversation about birthworkers, salary & the real cost of care…
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Guided by the conviction & courage of United States Congresswoman Lateefah Simon, whose dedication to equity & liberation reminds us that real change begins with accountability.