10/23/26, I can’t stand editing y’all. Listen, I had to step back into the building real quick. Blessings are dropping into my lap today; I was wondering if there was a glitch in the Matrix. NOPE, it’s SCORPIO season. It’s finna get real nasty out here because my Sagittarius gang gang is right behind us. Hide your kids, hide your wives. Please hide them so we don’t grab them by the hand and take them with us. Wait, where are the other parents. Damn, not Dad being left out. All parents are welcome. I promise you, my mother & I were trying to figure out how to open a 24-hour daycare so parents could go on actual dates & take naps. Unfortunately, neither one of us were going on actual dates & taking naps. I apologize for our past indiscretions. My mom said no, so it was a hell NO for me. I told you my mom throws hands. She played poker, that type of hand throwing. Only human that left Atlantic City, Foxwoods, crime boss homes, with more money. My mom was definitely close friends with the mafia, back in the day when we came to Staten Island, over 40 years ago (WTH). Their accents had my knees buckling. My mom married an Italian before that. That was all she needed to act like a mafia wife. The stilettos were on six inches. The heels looked like weapons. I would watch her walk in heels to the bus stop like wth is happening right now. Did I run to her room to try those heels on when I was 5 years old? Hell yes. Did my mom protest when she saw my clear six-inch heels as I asked her to help me install my dance pole decades later? Yup.

Big Anj? I like that :)

Hey Friends,

I’m taking a break from life at this point LOL. People are irking my soul. MOSTLY men. This isn’t a men versus women conversation. Also, I give no fux if people think otherwise.

I’m not sure what is wrong with autocorrect, but HE just aired me out for no reason. I do not wish to go further. Listen, iPhone users, let’s just brace ourselves now. We stand in solidarity. These ugly a$$ new iPhones are about to ruin our lives. This update is about to rip the roof off our already shredded mental health. Take that PTO, just quit your job. I’ll be here itching my life away.

I’m still itchy with nerve pain. If you are new here? Hey, my name is Anjanette & my entire body itches because I had shingles. Nobody came here to read about my itchy boob & back. Let’s get into it.

So, long story even longer, I have ties with authorities & the highest level of court that you do not want that smoke with. Trust me, I want that smoke for others, but you do not. I don’t wish to get any deeper because I’m in the middle of several contracts, grants, grant writing, forensics, testimony reviews & I love cold cases.

The cat is out of the bag. I LOVE FORENSICS. So much so that I seem to have landed in it because people are idiots. This is an offline conversation; I don’t reveal my cards during a game of poker. I just try to look at everyone else’s. Tf.

So, I’m a doula, nurse, childbirth educator…I’m just for the streets when it comes to learning. If I see a book I want, I’ll ask for it. Mind you, it’s in my bag already. I’m a foodie who’s ready for Thanksgiving. Every year, I go through this. Pass that newly born baby to me and stop playing!

The soldiers of the hospital system

People think nurses came out of the womb as nurses. I promise you, a few rounds of bedside eye surgery on our NICU babies had me about to lose consciousness. My coworkers & I worked together because we all had something that made us uncomfortable. Working together made us stronger.

I will never forget my experience in the NICU. Holding & rocking babies just made me happy. Maybe it was because I could see their future. I felt they would grow into strong, brave & beautiful children. The losses are what I won’t share here. They weren’t frequent, which gave my heart & soul room to feel safe there.

Watching them graduate touched me. Years later, I would see their parents in the community, and they remembered me. Someone who, at the time, felt she had made no impact on their NICU journey.

I miss the old nursing days. Things felt heavy, but we had each other. There’s so much division within our spaces now that I feel for my healthcare family. I find myself wishing I could rock them through the same pain that courses through all of our bodies. The silent pain that no one speaks of. It follows us, in our hearts, across each lifetime.

I’ve always felt that the people who nurture us the most experience the most deeply hidden pain. It’s etched deep within our lineage, shared through stories or sometimes not shared at all.

This year seems to highlight the following questions: What have you built? Did you build it off the backs of others? There’s no running away from these questions. Too many individuals & entities are going down for building off the backs of others.

concrete jungle where my attitude comes from

Around June 2026, deep in the conundrum of birthkeeping, I was minding my Black-owned business. And white-owned. I learned I’m 40% white. That might change because Ancestry is updating. Idc.

I am a mandated reporter. So are many doulas, but doula training doesn’t teach that. The ghetto training doesn’t teach that. That’s what I meant. I attended BEST Doula training. I was not the best, that’s the answer. Don’t do it to yourself. I attended the program how many years ago? If they want this smoke, come get it. Actually, call my lawyers. I’ll sue them for racism. So, there’s that.

I had to report an obscene amount of individuals & entities within the healthcare/behavioral health industries over the past 4.5 months. Today is my 26th anniversary in healthcare & my official last day of work. I conducted the last r*pe exam. I really don’t like typing out the word.

For my job, I sacrificed a great deal. I’m not doing that anymore. Instead, I’m relaxing because I retired on 7/14/26, the day after my brother’s birthday. I wanted to be more available for my family, which I have been. But I’m still pouring into others so much that I’m just heartbroken & happy.

I’m happy to be alive. That supersedes bills & the nonsense we worry about. The bills will be here. They can actually go to hell atp. The cost of living in NYC is outrageous. Trump is a dick, Vance is a bigger eggplant. I’m sick of them. Our healthcare system is in shambles, but everyone goes about their day like we don’t matter.

Nurses are quitting, getting fired, being abused, but life as usual. Doulas are treated like outsiders, like we’re the enemy. We’re fixing the hospitals’ mess but add us to the list of the abused. I think the fk not, mi gente. I warn people not to awake the sleeping bear. She is tired dammit.

these heaux aint loyal

For doulas, lawyer up. We have zero umbrella through an accredited agency. People complain about this, but they have no idea what our lives look like outside of helping them. I can tell you these agencies are completely unethical as all hell. So now what?

Protect yourselves. Lawyer the hell up. Contact your malpractice insurance & make 100% sure you are fully covered in case a hospital or provider tries it. Your lawyer should be going over your contract(s) with a fine-tooth comb. Please do not rely on copy & paste in this instance. Get your own & have people pay for a copy IF you wish to share it, which I would not do.

Do NOT niche down coming out the door of training. This is a practice that is recommended to us. Y’all, don’t you do it.

As a nurse, the requirement is for us to work on a medical-surgical floor. This floor is for adults, 18+. As new grads, we should have a softer, less acute assignment of patients (once again, I was humped dry, so my experience might be different-yup charge nurse one month in. Sounds legit). This helps us get used to everything that comes with nursing. Nurses get dry-humped on the daily, so don’t look over there with heart eyes unless you’re passionate about it. That passion will get you through.

The niche-down theory will have you working with one population of people. You’ll get very limited insight into what being a doula is. Research shows that white women have better birth experiences than women of color. If your clients have all been white women, taking on a woman of color is dangerous for that family & for you. Thinking you have what it takes to support a black woman without the knowledge of our lived experiences, is a massive red flag. Stand down or we will help you sit down, forcibly. I’m seeing too many black women ask for a black doula. The majority of our field (not black) hops on it like its a DIY project.

As per the black woman that asked for a black doula, she said what she said. Move out the way.

Being trauma informed is not an overnight class, one day or three-day class. Many doula training programs teach that quick business setup model, they don’t care what you learn, as long as they get you in & out. Money talks…

Being a birthkeeper is a slow walk, continuing education credits are imperative. If ANY professional lacks this basic standard, bounce. Leave, exit stage left. This isn’t a sale-a-thon, these are peoples lives we are talking about. Non-negotiable.

The constructs associated with all these topics are far deeper than I can share in this moment. Do your research. Do not rely on me or any of us to teach you everything, that’s impossible. Do not use AI unless you have research articles to back up what it shares with you. AI will lead you in the wrong direction, it extracts its information from social media platforms. Unless you understand how to use it, let that go. We all had to spend hours in the library researching topics. We’re handing the torch to the next generations. No more iPad babies guys, I cannot.

Now, all investigations are over, with the exception of one. Two investigations for one case were hot garbage. I threw the ball back in their court and walked away. It’s being handled. I’m just over it at this point.

I was diagnosed with PTSD in July of this year. Something I already knew for all of my life, but someone finally cared enough to listen & not leave me there feeling alone again. I feel like I’m finally able to find the words to express how I feel. I don’t even share half of what is on my mind. Trust me, you don’t want to see the world through my eyes. Through the eyes of black people.

Being included in all these high-level cases could have led to cardiac issues. There’s a reason why women have a higher risk of cardiac disease. We become nearly everyone’s punching bag. I saw this in the homes I worked with, the hospital floors I sat on, and the domestic abuse cases I worked with. I was also part of a suicide watch team.

My heart can’t break any more than it already has. I’m taking a break before that break takes me.

The Truth About Narcissists

I wrote this body of work some time ago. I’m going off of my lived experiences. I won’t include sources because I wrote this myself. I’m not quoting myself lol.

I’m bringing this up because guess who lands in our client’s homes? Doulas. The chances of meeting a narcissist is pretty high. They should fully know what they are walking into.

They want a background check, so do you. Actually, add that to your standard intake process. Copy this, you’ll have some major infringements against you. Again, say hello to my not little friends, The Esquires.

I mentioned COVID being a virus which opens the door to allowing dormant viruses to resurface. Use this same thought process for narcissists, gun owners, pedophiles, serial killers, psychopaths, too many to list. This current administration held the door open with their hatred, then everyone started jumping on the bandwagon. Hatred is a virus that remains dormant until our leaders are hateful. Reactivation occurs. This is the persistent cycle that is embedded in the 250 years people celebrated on July 4th, 2026. What exactly were we celebrating? If one of us isn’t free, none of us are free. Get with it or get lost. Gaza. Start there. Israel went up against their own people. Go read a book if you don’t know. Any scripture will tell you.

I read that clinical data consistently shows that men score higher on average in overall narcissistic traits, particularly in the area of entitlement. Studies back this up even further. Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is diagnosed significantly more often in men; women are diagnosed at a much lower rate. The core symptoms are called SPECIAL ME. Please look into them if you’re interested. Sharing this information sits heavy with me in this moment.

So, clock this. Narcissists generally remember exactly what they did, their minds will actively rewrite, dismiss, minimize or suppress the memory to protect their ego and self-image. Narcissists don’t like looking bad. They’ll quickly fault someone else before they ever see themselves.

You can sit for hours watching them fighting against themselves. Notice, their “apology” is inclusive of-if, but, wait, huh? I NEVER did that. That never statement right there airs them out. Saying never negates an apology completely. They’ll apologize but never take full accountability, it’s always someone else’s fault. They’ll dispute 1,000 people and insist it’s not them. If they’re triggered, or flooded with too much all at once, they will blow up. These are not safe people. Please know the signs, it hurts to admit that so many women are left completely confused by their behavior. It’s not you. Recognize how they present, trust me, you will date way more intentionally.

Pregnancy, childbirth & postpartum can act like a magnifying glass for narcissistic behavior. Why? The attention shifts to the birthing person & baby, away from the man. This shift can feel like a direct threat to a partner with strong narcissistic traits.

People will tell a woman that she always picks the worst men. Nay, nay, dear uneducated soul. Narcissists are all around us. I mean damn, look at the people who lead the country. I’m not sure why people look shocked to hear this. These dudes are narcissists, tf.

I can take down a narcissist & psychopath in two seconds. I don’t give them the room to lie. I truly don’t want to be involved with them again in life. I was trained by the best. My fellow people tear through people so bad that I’m trying not to cry laughing. Like, chill dude, don’t talk about his mom that way. Have some manners. I’d rather just watch a movie about them instead.

movies tell a story, netflix & chill has now commenced

Now, Hannibal Lecter? Oh, take me through there! Homeboy was talking about “it places the lotion on its skin…” Listen, Clarissa, move the hell out of the way. Diddy used up all the baby oil. We can’t afford to have lotion on the docket too, sis. These winter ankles did nothing to anyone. I know that better not be Nivea, y’all.

Mark ZuckHERberg, I got something for dat a$$ & it’s not baby oil. Trust.

People tend to think the worst of me? They definitely think the worst of us as women. History tells that story already. I’m not sure why, nor doeth I careth. Here, take this & leave me alone, for real.

I know you seen me on the video (true)
I know you heard me on the radio (true)
But you still don't pay me no attention
Listenin' to what your girlfriends mention
SHe's a slut, she's a ho, she's a freak
Got a different dude every day of the week
It's cool, not tryin' to put a rush on you
I had to let you know that I got a crush on you
Crush on You (Remix), Featuring Lil’ Cease & The Notorious B.I.G.
Corrected by me for me. Junior Mafia & B.I.G approved.

Jigga what? Jigga who? Yeah. I thought so.

Shall I proceed? (YES INDEED).

Whoa, whoa, whoa. I peeped an opp, y’all. Aye yo! I know I don’t see Diddy dancing. Yo, Sean, sit down homeboy, your name isn’t on this one, playa. I’m sorry everyone, I thought I saw someone I recognized, I forgot he’s in jail. Dropping the soap on purpose, lets be fr fr.

Let’s proceed…

This is a true story that happened more recently. Really don’t care atp who believes me or not. It doesn’t change my reality.

Sorry, I must interject again. A psychopath shared with me--what happens in the dark, must come into the light. This “hero” as he calls himself likes to abuse women, yet he denied it repeatedly, on record. That’s odd, this “man” swung on me multiple times, but he ended up landing a punch that had me seeing stars, but it’s better than hiding in the shadows, right? Well, consider me the biggest star in the universe, mi gente. Only difference between us? I’m not the one who carries the gun. Nor do I hit women. I hate guns for a reason, but I blows it up on that “girl” gamer ish.

Click, click, BOOM BITCH.

Hold my beer yo

Uhh, uhh, what the blood clot?
Wanna bumble wit the bee hahh?
Bzzzzt, throw a hex on a whole family (yeah, yeah yeah)
Dressed in all black like the oman (say what?)
Have your friends singin 'this is for my homey' (that's right)
And you know me, from makin dudes so sick
Floss in my 6 with the lex on the wrist
If it's murder, you know she wrote it (uh-huh)
German luger for your ass bitch, deep throated
The ONE & ONLY, Lil Kim. Yup, ad libs not sold separately.

If you don’t know this song? Please do your research, that is wildly disrespectful! We are NOT conducting a scheduled test of the broadcast system. This is an emergency. Tf.

Please report to the dance floor. I will only ask once. Now give me back my beer so I can hold it and act like I want it. Does the clurb have white wine? Sorry, I meant Henny shots, guys. I kid.

Not the shot of Patron? That’s my favorite too <3

Ayo Prodigy, tell 'em what this is Dunn

I warn people to stop playing with me. I bother nobody. Leave me tf alone. How bout you keep your hands tf off people? I can’t stand bully bad asses, fr. I don’t understand why that requires much thought. People, especially women, are going up against too much to add this to our plates. AGAIN.

They end up getting in more trouble, but that’s our fault too. Girl. Staying away would be way easier for them. God & I are over it. Just completely and utterly over abusers. Thank God, karma sweeps the block quickly, so we can move on with our lives.

I warned the Doula subreddit (two weeks ago almost, the day the Social Reckoning movie dropped) to get the hell off of social media asap. This was in response to OP, a fellow doula, who mentioned leaving social media. Please back up your files, do not worry about posting anything but fun stuff. Take a pic of a bird. People love birds lol. Tying our businesses to social media, through apps that do not belong to us? Nah son. Protect yourself. Too much is happening to ignore this. Keep your identity private right now, save all your work just in case. Zuck has been sweating too much for my liking. I smell broke af energy coming off of him. I’m sure you’ve smelled this scent on your exes. Stop playing. Idk, it’s in the air. Smells like the depths of hell have opened up again. That is not the cookout you want to be invited to. Idc how good your macaroni salad is. Peep how cold it got suddenly. Hell has frozen over.

I’m actually joking & not, please don’t look over here. My stomach hurts & I’ve been home minding my itchy business. If I go missing? I’m on vacation. That’s it. I’ll be on a balcony singing off key.

Instead of people listening to me, I was corrected by someone that I corrected right back. These people tend to act froggy when their identity is anonymous. Glittering Body on reddit. What’s good. I log in every leap year, so I won’t know if anyone is mentioning me.

bad boy, come out & Get the hell out of herrrrrreeeee

I’ve written about the bromance that is the current administration. Your girl is tired & hungry. My piercings? Still hurt. IYKYK. IYDSTHU.

A narcissist is super easy to detect. They’re self-centered, and they blow up over the littlest things. They won’t hit at first. They’ll do everything but hit their partner. That means they are in control enough to know what they’re doing in that moment.

Suddenly, they develop amnesia & say none of that ever happened. Or flowers. They’ll love-bomb you to make you feel bad for them. Then you stay. I always stayed; I don’t anymore.

Please don’t stay. That is a massive red flag & an opportunity to leave. It’s difficult for me to leave resources here because people from so many countries read my blogs, and I’m still mortified yet touched that anyone even cares. I love y’all fr. There are so many good agencies that will guide my people through if they even experience this, which they WON’T going forward because WE said so.

Wait, I’m retired?

So, that’s it for me. This is my first day of whatever the heck this is. I’m not sure how to stop working. It’s embedded in who I am. Surprisingly, I can fly through paperwork, but human beings (not all) are…yeah.

Not attending births has made me sad. Not being able to hold classes really makes me want to throw something across the room. I spent so much time updating my Labor 101 class that I’ve fallen in love with her.

Spinning Babies? I spun as a baby in the womb. My mother told me that LOL. I ended up spinning my way through ballet school & gymnastics. My therapy as a child. I miss the hobbies of childhood, and I’ve been revisiting those special places.

I work with children now; I look forward to spending time with them. I will return to the world of ASL. My life has consumed me so much that it has affected my ability to communicate with my brother through sign language.

I hope to learn French again, maybe Spanish. I have a huge attitude because Ancestry told me I was from Spain & France last week. Apparently, that is a lie. Zero European ties. I was LIVID. I know they better put it back.

Freaking Italy & Slovenia felt like home & I couldn’t even get some of that. The shopping out there? Jesus. I almost fainted looking at heels & perfume. Cobblestone streets are my love language. My ancestors messed me up. I’m eating a plate full of the pasta I made. I wish an Italian from Staten Island would try to step to me. My pasta tastes better than yours & you agreed, friends! I will absolutely eat your dishes to see though. Grandmommy’s pasta? RUN THAT. France? French dainty lacey things are my favorite. I love the Eiffel Tower; I’m still going one day. With the nastiest attitude on that plane. No Southeast Asia. Ancestry is going to hell. I can’t do this anymore. I’m human, I’ll just run with that. Actually, screw humanness too.

I’ve lost 30 pounds from stress. I just realized why people are saying I look pretty. Y’all thought I was fat? Didn’t you? I look the same, but suddenly I’m cute & hungry.

It’s ghetto here, guys. I’m done, we’re done. Let’s just take naps throughout the day and listen to the ’90s music that ended up causing all of us to get pregnant. Let’s be fr. Y’all had no business gyrating on each other that early in life. I wasn’t down with the get-downs, so y’all be safe!

stand up now or sit down forever

Protect yourself & remember to protect others. We are all one. If you prioritize yourself over others, don’t be surprised to find yourself sitting alone.

I will be back after some time off. The women in my life have gone above and beyond for me. Next level ish. My dad’s side of the family gives me great comfort. So thankful to have them back in my life. To the men in my life, my family, I’m so grateful for you. I truly don’t know how to begin thanking the people that had my back. I love you so much & so deeply. The world is better with you in it.

HUGE SHOUTOUT to my Granddiddy!! His birthday is tomorrow. I love him DOWN.

Yo watch yourself; I coined this when I was a baby. Take that, take that somewhere else. I’ll throw hands over my granddaddy. No, I won’t LOL. Just let me rock, ok?!

This day last year, I sat in a room with hundreds of people. On a sibling panel, discussing advocacy within the special needs community. Several women left the room to cry. We share such a different world than the rest of the world around us.

One year later, I’m discussing advocating on behalf of myself. Decades of work will never disappear, no matter how much longer I remain in this space. That feels liberating & sad. Just a conglomerate of emotions. Giving myself the space to process the good & the bad is a first for me. Normally, I busied myself with work so I didn’t have to face my reflection in the mirror. One that spoke of someone that experienced burnout & kept going. I’m realizing now more than ever that I’m equally important in this cycle of grief too. I’m grieving things & welcoming in others. For that I am grateful.

happy spooky season

The beauty of having adult children? They enjoy Halloween & you can blame them for random things, like they blamed us when they were little. Fling your shoes across the room when you visit their home. Leave a huge bag of candy corn behind. I know you remember Dave Chappelle on that couch, just like I imagined getting turned up on my grandmother’s plastic covered furniture. If your child is 18 or older? You’re entitled to compensation for your pain and suffering. Let’s not act like our children didn’t roast us in front of their teachers. Idk how I got blamed for my son’s missing homework. I’m rubbing my hands together like Stevie J. Halloween is that time to give them something they can feel, it is not too late to tap in. Too bad my son doesn’t read my blogs. It’s about to get real spooky around these parts. YERRRRRRR.

Wait, that was way too loud guys. Twin, lock in. yerrrr.

Final song on my playlist. Number 50 :) The scent you smell is called Brooklyn Zoo.

To all the ladies, I like to congratulate you…

Fabolous – You Be Killin Em.

Album: There Is NO Competition. Grieving Music Mixtape.